College Composition I: Eng-101 Announcements

Colloquial:

Pretentious:

This cat named George is a player. He likes to flirt, he's a straight heart breaker. Because he's a punk, when he sees the girls dudes, he splits.

Yo, der wuz this gian egg that sat on this wall this giant egg busted its fxxxen a$$ the kings ridarz and his boys tried to fix that giant egg but he splatterd and broke so bad that he couldn’t be put back together again.

Yo, dere was 5 little piggies
One went to da market
Da otha one stayed home
The next one ate roast beef
He aint give the otha one any
And da last one cried like a b****h
All the way home.

Yo tell me why
Shorty up the block was sitting on her a**
Eating mad food and s***
And the big-a** roach came beside her
And Shorty was out.

Yo, come here son I gotta story to tell ya.
Yesterday my homeboy and his shorty Jill
Went up a mound to bring some drool back to the Hood,
The dude fell Bust his ass, and before I knew it,
His homegirl was eating rocks, just like he was.
But umm anyways, he got up and jetted to his mama's joint,
And all she did was put some alcohol on a bandanna and tied it to his dome.

Harold perched himself on high
Harold got knocked the f*** down
All the head pimps hoes
And his manwhores too
Couldn't stack that s*** up how it was posed to be.

The miniscule vermin, of the family arachnid, ascended a hollow shaft associated with the deterrence of hydrogen bonded to oxygen that comprises a molecular structure in liquid state. Due to precipitation, the said arachnid was taxied downwards and came to an end in a perpendicularly state to the afore-mentioned shaft. Abruptly afterwards, the largest known star in the solar system directed its effect upon the residual precipitation and the above mentioned fauna reconvened its vertical ascension previously attempted.

The miniscule arachnid was violently flushed down the drain by severe meteorological conditions. After the storm system dissipated and the aqueous hydrogen dioxide evaporated into its gaseous state, the hapless arachnid somehow managed to escape its doom.

Propel your vessel down the rivulet, while joyfully examining existence.

As the daylight comes to a conclusion, the grand celestial bodies of twilight become apparent in the upper atmosphere. I covet the chance to be able to take into my possession the desired outcome I beseech from the blazing heavenly bodies above.

Oh, ball-shaped gaseous celestial body
That shines by its own light,
Incomparable solitary star on this night,
Allow myself to accomplish
My desire [and?] wishes on this day.

As I apprehended the vital aquatic vertebrate animal, it made a laceration on an appendage of the right hand. Following that action, I propelled it back into the body of water.